Be Who You Want To Be

Be who you want to be not who or what others think you should be.

It can be so easy to fall into the trap of shaping ourselves into what others want us to be. This behaviour can manifest in childhood as we try to impress our family, teachers and friends.

As we grow into teenagers and adults this behaviour may continue. There may be a particular community or group that we want to fit into. So we try to display or mirror the traits of those who belong to it.

And then, there’s the simple case of just wanting to be liked. This sentiment reminds me of Barbara Streisand’s song, People. You know the song with the lyrics:

People who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world

Songwriters: Bob Merrill / Jule Styne
People lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

Although I cannot agree with the message here.

Are we so socially needy that we can’t get along with ourselves and just enjoy our own company? The luckiest people are those who do not need other people. They are the people who enjoy their own company and that of others.

When our behaviour changes to make others like us

But back to the topic at hand. For many of us, either consciously or unconsciously our behaviour changes when we want people to like us.

And that can lead us down so many paths that we don’t enjoy.

For example, there was this very loving Dad who heard his child singing carols. It reminded him of his own childhood. He used to sing in a boys’ choir in Sydney, Australia and had wanted to make it a thing. However, WWII interrupted his plans.

He encouraged his youngest daughter to sing. She was very impressionable and would do anything for her dad. When an opportunity to play a supporting part in a local musical came up, he took her to the auditions.

Eight years later, the girl now found herself studying music and opera singing at the Conservatorium of Music. All because at the age of 10, she had adopted her father’s dream to make him happy.

The girl though was not happy. She didn’t feel like she deserved to be there as music was not her passion.

So what’s the moral of the story? Even though you may want to make those you care about happy, you have to follow your own dreams.

Be who you want to be morally

The same goes for the type of person you want to be, morally or politically.

This topic can be a touchy subject because we all have different morals and politics. Often as children, we adopt the ways of our family, culture and education.

If you do not like who you are or an aspect of yourself, then this message is for you.

You can change.

You don’t have to follow, fail and feel bad about not filling someone else’s dream. And you definitely don’t have to be that person you do not like.

You can transform your interests, behaviour and your personality.

Change doesn’t happen overnight. You have to be patient, persevere and forgive yourself if you still repeat bad habits. However, if you really want it, you can change and become the person you want to be.

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